I forgot that after you leave, I can’t wake up the next morning and just feel ok. There’s something missing. I wake up and unconsciously I try to hear your voice or your laugh and I don’t hear it. I imagine your touch and I can just barely imagine you’re there next to me. But I realize I’m not going to have that for a long time and that missing part just intensifies. I think that I will be missing something for the rest of forever, until you can put those pieces back together.
I have cried so much today that my tears are starting to burn my cheeks.
I’m pretty sure when you left, something inside of me completely shattered. I don’t remember the last time I hurt like that, I don’t remember the last time I got myself into a hyperventilation frenzy. I’m really thankful to Jesus though because I honestly couldn’t see through my tears and almost completely rear-ended another car on the Expressway. Looking back the only reason I didn’t, had to be because of God because I really should have completely knocked into that car. I pulled off the highway and just sat in my car and cried. I cried so damn hard because I missed you, I could have been better for you, treated you better, loved you more, took those risks for you.. anything to be exactly what you should have. I’m so tired of saying goodbye… I’m so damn tired of goodbye. I know one day we won’t have to say goodbye all the time and until then I’m willing to wait for someday. But I’m really damn tired of “see you soon”. I just want us to be together all the time because nothing in the world feels more right than us together.